your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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