I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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