I'm lost and stupid without you.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
