I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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