There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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