if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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