What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just had sex on a roof
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
