I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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