Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
