dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
