I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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