She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You need a sexual gate keeper
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
