i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
