He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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