I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize