How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
