She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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