He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
whose parrot is this?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
