I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
