That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
