2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
