Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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