I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
