Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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