Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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