Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
