she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
