it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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