I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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