@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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