i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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