your parents love me but you hate me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
its not stalking. its research.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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