omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I could fuck to npr.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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