Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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