So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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