the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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