Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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