in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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