youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
