we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
