You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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