Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
