Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize