the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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