girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
