dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
