if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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