"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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