i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Randomize
