i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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