I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
