At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
