New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
