she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
