That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
ugly people sure do ruin things
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
