You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
