Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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