There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
